Making a Change

I've been thinking a lot lately about femininity, feminism, and women's rights. I guess it's no surprise what with the crazy stuff that's happened recently in Texas. *quick note--I am not trying to get political here. I do believe a certain way, but I respect others beliefs and opinions and would ask others to do the same*

Also, I miss my gender studies classes. Also (x2), these issues have become especially relevant in my life right now as a young female navigating girlhood and womanhood, trying to figure out her past, while simultaneously trying to manage the present and dream about the future.

So, you can see why feminism and womanhood are at the forefront of my thoughts right now.

I've always had trouble with these issues and ideas, if I'm being honest. I've always struggled to be a strong, independent feminist. A girl who doesn't take shit from anyone-especially sexist shit--and who is proud of her body and of her self. I strive to be this woman every day. And so often I've felt as though I've fallen short. I obsess over my hair. I whine that I have nothing to wear (when my closet could be a small boutique). I constantly plague myself with concerns of 'am I pretty enough?' 'am I thin enough?' 'am I desirable enough?' I get hair extensions. I buy more clothes. I convince myself that no, I'm not pretty or thin, or desirable enough. I crave attention--but not for my intelligence, or my humor, or my quirky personality.

And it makes me nauseous.

I could blame it on society. I could blame it on the times I got made fun of as an awkward, flat-chested teenager. I could blame it on secrets much deeper and darker. And sure, all of these things are, to some degree, probably to blame for my feminine obsessions and flaws.

But they can't be blamed if I don't decide to make a change. That's on me.

It's on all of us as individuals to find the courage and confidence to say, "You know what, screw it. Screw these negative feelings and self-loathing." 

This mantra of overcoming isn't anything new. Women have been preaching positivity and body-love for years; we've been fighting and beating sexism--self-inflicted and otherwise--every single day. But it never hurts to hear someone say it again. Especially when it's you telling yourself that you're worth it. That you're beautiful (because each of us really, truly is). That you don't have to put up with feeling worthless or too fat or not sexy enough. 

I'm not saying it's easy to overcome the negativity, the stereotypes, and the self-ingrained negativity. I'm 23 and I've struggled with it all my life. Some days are better than others. But it feels good to try; and it feels even better to notice your progress.

Example? I gained 10 lbs recently. In the past, this number would have sent me spiraling into misery and an attempt to only eat granola. But when I stepped on the scale, saw the new number, and saw myself in the mirror, I felt--finally--strong and proud and beautiful. There was a body that could run, hike, and dance. There was a person who looked happy, glowy, and full of self-love.

We can't expect to overcome our issues (whatever they may be) in a matter of minutes, hours, or even days. But know that it is possible to overcome them. Surround yourself with loving people, practice positivity, and know that you're worth it.

Okay, well, now that I've bombarded you with a rather serious post, I'm going to make dinner and get ready to watch The Bachelorette (only the best show EVER)!

XOXO!