I am (a poem)

I am.

I am red hot velvet   the plummet between                                  the femme and the fatal      I am a 

monument unmade         a broken ceiling     the scratches on bare     I am the front page   the tragedy                    the inbetween words                      

I am gottohaveit havetohaveit                am yes means yes!                     the wandering                   the wondering               I am lace shadow      a smear of pink on petals       I am crescendo           and the 

shattering semi-precious   I am to please     to        gape               gasp open       to seem marble  

I am writing on the bathroom walls                  singing with a broken mouth   dreams of leather                 and suicide fame       I am the pretty in                   the maybe one day        I am.

This is a poem I wrote a year or two ago and it still feels pretty relevant. So often I feel a dichotomy of things--strong and weak, in control and absolutely crazy, sweet and bitchy. This poem captures that in it's words and in it's structure. Human beings are a mess of contradictions; sometimes this hurts us and other times it makes for a beautiful, complex story.

No one is all good or all bad; no one is always strong, no one is always weak. I still struggle with who I am and who I want to be (don't we all from time to time?), but I'm learning how to embrace the good and understand/change the bad. I've been doing a lot of self-examination lately and it's already been a pretty incredible (although by no means easy) experience.

Sometimes you just gotta figure out what the hell you're doing and why you're the way you are and what kind of person you want to be. It's a pretty important adventure!

So thanks for undertaking it with me everyone :) Love you all!

XOXO!